Individual Worth Through Theatre And My Testimony

Hi Ladies,

Well, I have finished my first value experience! I believe that Ive mentioned before that Im studying theatre at school, and needless to say, Im really in love with it. It was an additional value experience. It required participation in a choir or play.

My parents stake hosted a big "Celebration of the Arts" performance and they were looking for backstage help and I volunteered to be the Stage Manager. I learned so much doing that. I had done "stage help" before, but never had I been Stage Manager with SO many responsibilities! I was given a head set and was given instructions via the head set from the Stage Director. I was responsible for all the techs that we had backstage and was responsible for cordinating all the props.

And I admit, when I was in the middle of it all. I really did feel much of my individual worth. I honestly felt frazzled and small. Who wouldnt be with so many responsibilites and people to keep track of?! And plus, all of the actors and actresses that did such a beautiful job performing.... they sang and danced up a storm on that stage. My ego was kicked around a wee bit. Naturally I think, we all love our chance to stand in those big spot lights and perform in a pretty dress. But until this morning, I did realize how much I was really worth to that show. The backstage work went so smoothly, despite the way I felt about myself. I helped the ENTIRE ( think a large army ready for battle ) cast backstage get ready for curtain calls. I did curtain calls. I moved props, kept track of a schedule and made everything look good.

I have a beautiful gift from my Heavenly Father. I create wonderful things and I make them look good. I didnt get to stand under those big bright lights and sing Think of Me from Phantom. And I didnt get to walk off into the sunset with that cute boy from Bye Bye Birdie. But I got to create a beautiful atmosphere for the cast and for all the members of the audience that came to see it. ( And did we have an audience!! Full house both nights! My family had to sit in the back because they came late and it was so full! )

 Just yesterday I was reading The Remarkable Soul of a Woman. ( which was based on this talk that President Uchtdorf gave at a Relief Socity General Conference Meeting in 2008 ) and he spoke of how women have the beautiful ability to create. Not just bodies for Heavenly Fathers childeren ( which is wonderful too of course ) but beautiful homes, art projects, love and laughter. It really is a great talk. I highly recommend it.

But I feel so much more worth when I can create something and know that it is good. Because Heavenly Father has given me special talents and I can use them to make beautiful things.

I would also, love to add in my testimony that Heavenly Father really does love us and hear our prayers.
Ive been having a terrible week. I have been feeling horrible about myself and crying all the time. One of my friends suggested that I pray. And the thought, at first, really did make me recoile. How could I face my maker in such distress. Why in the world would he want to listen to me, when he made me to be beautiful and great, when Im alone and discouraged and sad!?

It took me an entire two days, but I had reached the end of my rope. Tuesday evening I was sitting in bed and I was crying. With nothing else to do, I stood up and walked into the bathroom and said a prayer. It was a short prayer. But a prayer non the less. I told Heavenly Father about everything I was feeling. All the emotions and the tears. When I was done praying I started scrubbing the bathroom. ( nothing more cathardic then scrubbing the life out of your sinks and bathtub, right!? ) When I finished scrubbing I sat down on the couch for a breather. I started flipping through the channels on the tv and happened to come across a channel that was playing He's Just Not That Into You for a night time movie special. And regardless of movie content, this movie happens to be one of those movies that makes me feel good. I went to the Cinamark with a really good friend of mine to see it a couple years ago and it just brings back a lot of good memories and feelings. I felt so blessed that this small thing was placed in my night. And it was exactly what I needed to feel better. I was so thankful that Heavenly Father heard my prayer and blessed me with something small that I needed to help myself feel better.

I love being a Daughter of God.

Hope everyone is well, and that everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving.

Love to you all !

Shann
xo